Empathy versus sympathy

Empathy and sympathy both refer to processes of identification of the self with another. But looking at the etymology of both words one can already have a clue of where the difference stands:

          -          Sym-pathy means “feel with”. One merges with the object and share its feeling. Consciousness is moved from the self to the other. There is fusion.

          -          Em-pathy means “feel in”. One shares the point of view of another, and observe its feelings and thought. Consciousness of the self is placed in the situation of the other to share its experience. There is a research of understanding.

Thus we can see that the process of identification differs at the level of consciousness of the self and of the world.

In a sympathetic approach I fully identify myself with aspects of the other, with the life of someone else. I lose sense of my own identity. In doing so, one become sensitive to all sorts experiences without being able to position oneself in the midst of influences.

To use a metaphor, when I am in sympathy, my conscience looks like a painting who welcomes all sorts of paint (external influences and consciences). If developed this cannot turn into anything but chaos. I am also like a student who reads books and accept all that is said, not being able to write anything new, anything synthetic.

In an empathetic approach, I use my own experience, and increase my awareness of the world through conscious identification and reflexivity.

To rephrase the previous metaphors, I am like a painting (result of experiences and emotions) whose painter (conscience) looks at the world to learn and take the best and make it his/hers. I am also like a student learning from books written by others, benefiting from their experience, to formulate his/her own judgment.

In practice this distinction is not clear. An empathetic experience usually includes a moment sympathy, but it must be followed by self-awareness and conscious reflexivity.

However it is not always easy to withdraw from some influences. This is particularly true of highly emotional experiences: I may be so moved by the suffering of someone that I have difficulty to take the necessary distance with this experience, and it durably affects my thoughts and emotions. This is why it is really important to be self-aware of one’s capacities/limits. Indeed, while empathy is an incredible instrument of cohesion and understanding, we can lose a lot in drowning oneself into violent or painful sympathetic experiences. Practical tips to avoid these traps will be given under each of the following sections.

World of Empathy © 2009