Living in harmony with others:

mainstreaming empathy for peace education

By A. Henry, Geneva

A human definition of peace

Peace can be defined by the absence of tensions and a positive state of harmony, both with oneself and one’s social and natural environment.

Peace is a subjective concept. What is a peaceful environment to me may be a torture for someone else. For example I have friends who could not stay more than a few hours in the countryside far from urban agitation, while I feel quite the opposite.

I feel in peace when I recognize and accept an “other” for what it is, without feeling aggressed or threatened in my being. There is peace between two beings when this feeling is shared.

Peace is dynamic: while beings interact together and evolve, they redefine their relations. Peace should therefore not be considered as an environment where all beings live in harmony, but as a capacity of beings to be able to accept and recognize one another. It implies an active involvement and commitment.

This capacity of recognition is not natural: we tend to fear the “other”, what we do not know or cannot control. Human peace as defined above is not natural: it entails a number of personal and social skills that should be learnt.

Me, my world and… others: the potential of individualism

The concept and perception of self varies quite a bit according to the location and time it is considered.

Often individuals’ identities are immersed (or even drowned) into a community and a very developed set of established rules and cultural elements. In that environment, it is extremely hard for an individual to exist out of its social context: “I am my world and whatever threatens my world threatens me directly – without much space to position myself differently. Having rarely any impact on the definition of the culture I belong to, it is extremely hard for me to adapt to a different reality and understand “others””.

Our world is made of both social and individual representations of “self”: I am the product of my environment and of my personal choices. It is important to understand this dual nature of the self: some people will indeed have great difficulty to define themselves out of their social environment. This is for example the case of strong religious beliefs. This should be understood and respected (see article on cross-cultural communication).

No matter how I define my “self” (individually or socially), I will have a natural reaction of rejection of “others” - of what I do not recognize as part of my world. From this observation, one can understand the need to learn mutual respect, to learn how to accept, understand and respect the aspiration of other human beings (and possibly respect of all living beings).

Individualism is a social trend giving more space to the individual, its aspirations and choices. This idea is at the origin of the concept of human rights: together, we recognize the right of all human beings to live, express themselves, be protected by a fair justice and live in a clean environment… Belonging to a society based on the respect of individuals choices, I must either learn to accept others views and choices or be in perpetual conflict (internally and/or externally).

Individualism gives individual space to define themselves, think their environment and interact with it. This independence can possibly cut cultural or family social links, but it can also allow individuals to face the unknown, being able to conceive various approaches of a unique reality, another comprehension or vision of the world.

By learning to be flexible, and reposition myself in the world I live in – I am able to adapt to new situations, to the unknown, to the other. I can learn from my environment, and impact on it.

The other as another self: mutual respect through empathy

We, as human beings, need to define ourselves and our environment. This is expressed through our personality and through social rules and values. We need to give meaning to our world to find our place, to control our environment or develop our inner capacities to adapt to it. We are scared of what we do not know, we feel comfortable with what (we think) we know.

Others individuals or cultures can challenge my vision of the world. If I am born in an environment where it is not acceptable to kill animals, I may not be able to understand individuals enjoying fights, sacrifices, or meat feasts.

When I face the other I have two main options: either I accept to learn from it, or I oppose to it. That is how I define myself: I listen, I interpret and I accept or reject. This can be conscious or not. The “different self” can be really frightening or disturbing because it questions my world, and my own identity.

This observation can explain most conflicts between individuals: it is not easy to accept that other individuals impose their power and impose a different vision of the world. It started with fights for survival means, for land, for resources and since a few centuries, fights become more and more ideological.

This fight to impose a “true” or unique vision and control over the world is hard to escape if one opposes the self and the other. If I believe that I am the “right” version of humanity, then indeed, it is normal that I want to fight against opposing models.

In a humanist vision, one can however make the choice to see things differently: we will never have the opportunity to explore all choices, all options that life gives us. We will never be able to do all jobs, experience every religion, explore the whole world, read all books and learn from all smart people. Every human truly is a unique sum of experiences, choices (or non choices) and influences. If I consider myself as an element of Humanity and not as its true expression, I can have a different look on others, learn from them and respect them. Respect of others and mutual understanding become core values, before any other ones. This cannot be summarized in human “rights”, it is also a duty, something that we have to learn to transfigure our fears and build more peace between individuals.

The above definition shows that a right perception and understanding of others is essential to generate peace. Through empathy, I do not only take my being as absolute reference. The other is not a mysterious stranger which I should fear; it is another being with motives and reasoning which I can try to understand.

Empathy can help develop a wide range of social skills: active listening, tolerance, understanding of difference, understanding beyond one’s own experience, respect,… Empathy is about seeing through the eyes of an “other”. Through this experience I can partially remove the barrier between self and other, and I can truly respect my social and natural environment.

Additional resources on peace learning

Peace learning.pdf (to be added soon)

World of Empathy © 2009